Christmas Eve 2003

Well what a rush! But we finally made it.
I don't know about you, but I could do with a hot drink.
Is there anywhere round here you can get one?
No? Oh well, never mind.
I've got some of those Fishermen's Friends to suck. Do you want one?
...... Don't mention it.

[Hum 'O come all ye faithful...']

I'm glad I managed to get here though, aren't you?
Some years you can't even get near because of the crowds.
But we've a good spot this time though, by the looks of it.
Really quite close to the front.
Close enough to get a good view of everything inside......
I think I can see one or two people moving around in there.
Look there's an older man running around getting things ready -
But that woman.... She's just lying on the floor.
Probably had too much to drink. Tch Tch Tch.....

To tell the truth, we didn't actually think we'd even get this far. 'Cos there's no space anywhere.
No space at all.
Everywhere's full and people are still wandering around searching. On the off-chance.

It's madness.
Last year we had to form a queue
and it went all around the corner and along the road for miles.

That's why we were determined to get here early this time and get a really good spot.

[Hum 'While shepherds watch ...']

Mind you, it's worth it, don't you think?
Well worth it.
Last year it completely changed out lives. Oh yes!
And cost us next to nothing into the bargain.
Not much more than the cost of getting here, my wife said.

And you should have seen what we came away with.
It really put a smile on our faces.
A real sense of joy and satisfaction.
Heart warming I call it.
Everything you could ask for.
We're hoping it'll be just as good this year.

I mean there's so much doom and gloom around isn't there?
Wars. Children murdered. Old folks dying of cold and no-one knowing.
Global warming. All those asylum seekers and refugees.
All those politicians you never quite know whether to trust or not.
No we need to have something to cheer us up.
And what better than this, eh?
Wonderful.

[Hum. 'Silent night, Holy Night....']

You've been coming for years?
Yes. Us too. Quite a tradition in our family.
Christmas just wouldn't be the same without it. I don't care what some people say. We really do enjoy it.
I mean, you can only eat so much food and watch so many repeats on the TV.
That's not what Christmas is about for us.

The real meaning of Christmas?
Yes. That's just what we say.

[Hum 'Oh little town of Bethlehem...']

I love these old carols. Takes me right back.
I'm humming them all the time in my head.
Makes me remember I've got to get a move on! Only so many more days to go till the Big Day!
My wife gets me one of those chocolate calendars.
Every morning I count down the days.
Just like a big kid I am. Well, if you can't have a laugh and get excited.... I ask you!
What's it all about then!

Mind you, I can never remember many of the words of those carols.
But the tunes make me feel happy.

It's really clever the way they've turned them all into jingles on the adverts....
How's that other one go? Let me see....

Oh I know. Do you remember this one:
[Hum ' Asda tune...']

What do you mean that's not a carol?
Course it is. Listen.
[Hum it again.]
They play it all the time in the store along with all the others. So it has to be!

Well anyway. It's time to get the sleeping bags out. You put yours there and we'll go here. Nice and cosy!
What no sleeping bags for you? You'll catch your death!...

What d'you mean you're going soon?
When what service ends?
Church service?
What church service?
Midnight service?
Christmas worship?
Worship?

I don't understand
What are you talking about?

You mean this isn't the queue for B n Q?
B n Q - the shop. Sales. You know, the Christmas sales?
B n Q!! For goodness sake!
B n Q!! Surely you've heard...

B? Bethlehem?
Q? Quirinius?

Jesus?
What are you talking about?

Terry Biddington